CITY PAGES — On Monday, legendary Hollywood shitheel James Woods tweeted a video depicting Somalis at the Mall of America.

Are these things connected?

EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

This we learned from a nine-minute clip from Alex Jones, a disturbingly popular conspiracist who has never let the fact that everything he says is a lie detract from the fact that it would be scary if it was true.

After showing the same clip James Woods had posted, Jones begins: “Mall of America yesterday…”

Wrong. The video’s timing is unclear, but it was almost certainly taken during Eid al-Adha, a Muslim holiday which many Somali Minnesotans celebrate with a trip to the Mall of America. This year, Eid al-Adha fell on August 31 and September 1, which is only “yesterday” if you, like Alex Jones, have been awake for the last 10 weeks.

Here’s an NPR story (from 2006) about why Muslims go to the mall to celebrate Eid.

Hold us, we’re scared.

Ahem. Continue, Alex.

“Mall of America yesterday was about 95 percent Somali…”

Wrong. This one small part of the Mall of America (the Nickelodeon Universe) appears to be heavily Somali or East African… during a very brief clip… recorded, again, on a day when Muslims traditionally gather at the mall. The Mall of America is enormous, though: 500-something stores spread out over 4.9 million square feet of space.

This video shows a couple hundred people. The Mall of America averages more than 100,000 visitors a day. Most are white.

Anyway, sorry to cut you off again Alex, continue.

“Mall of America yesterday was about 95 percent Somali. Now, that’s the main area where they’ve been resettling for 40-plus years…”

Wrong. The vast majority of Somali-Americans emigrated to the United States (and Minnesota, specifically) as refugees from a civil war … during the 1990s. That’s not 40 years ago.

OK, sorry Alex. Proceed.

“Now, that’s the main area where they’ve been resettling for 40-plus years. The U.S. Government has been bringing Muslims in, from the most suppressive, most radical Muslim nation…”

Wrong. Those are subjective assertions to begin with, but, while Somalia is essentially tied for dead last in freedoms, it’s down there with countries — Saudia Arabia, Yemen — the U.S. considers its allies.

As for “most radical,” Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan — again, all U.S. allies — suffer more terrorist attacks than Somalia. And most terrorists or would-be terrorists who target America are from… America.

OK Alex, go on.

“The U.S. Government has been bringing Muslims in, from the most suppressive, radical Muslim nation, where women are sold at slave auctions to this day…”

Not wrong, per se, but misleading as hell. Jones is almost certainly referring to sex slavery as practiced by Al-Shabaab militants, a group which consists of maybe 9,000 people — in a country of 14 million.

The way Jones phrases it makes it sound like slave auctions in Somalia are sanctioned, and happening everywhere, all the time. It’d be like describing the United States as a “nation where people get shot at country music concerts,” or a “nation where people live in St. Cloud, Minnesota.”

Is there… more?

“The U.S. Government has been bringing Muslims in, from the most suppressive, radical Muslim nation, where women are sold at slave auctions to this day. It has the highest murder rate in the world…”

Wrong.

“It has the highest murder rate in the world, and women are seen as, basically, animals. Now, our government, as part of the diversity VISA program, has colonized Minnesota with Somalis.”

Oh, fuck this. This is going to take all day. Imagine how exhausting it would be if the people who watch Alex Jones — or feed this hokum into his teleprompter — cared whether what he said was even remotely true.

You can watch this clip if you want, but please, go in knowing virtually every single thing in Jones says is either provably incorrrect, or has been twisted beyond recognition into something pointy, which he then waves right in front of his terrified viewers’ bug-eyes. At one point Jones starts talking about “drag queen festivals.” At another, he calls Abdiraham — Jones calls him “Adderdam” (wrong), then “Abababa” (wrong) — “our new Somali God.” Then he says the word “zero” 16 times in a row. It’s… well, it’s pretty much like every other Alex Jones clip.

MINNEAPOLIS – In the mid to late 1990’s, Minneapolis become home to thousands of Somali refugees.

We now have the largest population in the United States.

And today, on Election Day, we were shown something absolutely remarkable about our Somali community in Minneapolis’ Ward 6.

They voted early at seven times the rate of other areas in the city.

As first and second generation immigrants they are taking their civic duty to a record-breaking level.

Ali Isse has been getting out the vote early in Ward 6 and his response to this?

“It’s just a normal campaign. (We are) just working a little bit harder,” Isse said with a shrug.

That’s a humbling way to describe it but the reality is too important to not say out loud. These Somali Americans hold a passion to vote because they know, more than many of us born in the U.S. know what it means to be able to do so.

“This is one of our dreams you know, the reason that we are here because we never had a good democratic system and once you get one you will enjoy it and that’s why people are eager and happy to go out and make sure their voices are heard,” Isse said.

It’s simply beautiful really. To watch a community embrace democracy that way. Especially when that community hasn’t been as embraced by the American community.

“A lot of times we are a stereotyped like, oh Somalis they can’t integrate or they can’t get along with other people but that’s not true and this is one of the ways we can prove you know hey we just like everybody else,” Isse said.

Well, in this way, not even in the slightest with these kinds of voting numbers.

And to be specific to Ward 6, look at the city council race they are voting ON. A race with three Somali candidates.

“Even though we are still first and second generation here generally our community is very active in terms of what is going around on local and national level and there are a lot of issues now in terms of the immigrant refugees and all kind of things,” Isse said.

It’s a classic American idea. If you don’t like the way the system works, do two things. Vote. And. Run.

“We’d rather have more on the ballot than not and that’s something we are really proud about,” Isse said.

The U.S. Justice Department on Monday sought to revoke the citizenship of four Minnesotans from Somalia who are accused of defrauding the Diversity Immigrant Visa Program more than a decade ago.

According to four civil complaints filed by Washington, D.C.-based Justice Department attorneys, Fosia Abdi Adan, Ahmed Mohamed Warsame, Mustaf Abdi Adan and Faysal Jama Mire posed as a nuclear family and used false identities in applying for visas.

Before coming to the United States in 2001, Adan, 51, of Eden Prairie, allegedly claimed to be married to Ahmed Mohamed Warsame, 54. According to the complaints, the two also claimed that Mustaf Abdi Adan, 33, and Faysal Jama Mire, 31, were their children.
Adan and Warsame divorced in Minnesota soon after Warsame was admitted as a permanent resident, at which time he also changed his name. Warsame has since been living in St. Cloud and Mustaf Adan and Mire have both been living in Hennepin County.

The Diversity Visa Lottery, which grants visas to a limited number of people from countries with historically low rates of immigration to the United States, has been in the spotlight since the Oct. 31 terror attack in New York City by a man who immigrated from Uzbekistan under the program in 2010. President Donald Trump called for the elimination of the program after the attack.

In a statement announcing the Minnesota complaints on Monday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions added that the country’s current immigration system is “easily abused by fraudsters and nefarious actors.”

“Chain migration,” which gives priority for entrance to immigrants with family members, “only multiplies the consequences of this abuse,” Sessions said.

Neither defendant could be reached for comment, and they did not have attorneys listed for them as of late Monday.

In the complaint against Adan, attorneys alleged that she engaged in “alien smuggling,” rendering her ineligible for naturalization. Each of the four also faces numerous counts that include allegations of illegal procurement of naturalization and lacking valid immigration documents.

The United States is seeking a judgment revoking the four defendants’ citizenship and also “forever restraining and enjoining” them from claiming “any rights, privileges, benefits or advantages” under any documentation gained during their initial naturalizations.

According to the affidavit of a Department of State agent assigned to Minneapolis, Warsame omitted a 1996 marriage in Yemen to another woman and details about his biological children. That woman told fraud investigators in 2010 that she was Warsame’s sole marriage and that he had obtained fake marriage documents for himself and Adan, who is a distant relative.

In an interview with the State Department investigator at his St. Cloud home last year, Warsame admitted to posing under a fake name and lying about his marriage to Adan to gain citizenship. Adan and the two men who claimed to be their children were each cousins of Warsame’s, he said. The pair are also accused of falsely claiming a third child, who was denied entry to the U.S.